Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
