fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
