That's when you crack a 10am beer
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
someone owes me an orgasm
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
