my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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