Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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