Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
