But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
