Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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