you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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