Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
