Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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