Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i now understand why vodka
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
