Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
