I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
