I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
