She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
