Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
