vagina is talking i cant
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
