I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
