then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She even gives head with a lisp.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
