HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Randomize
