i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
