Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
