I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
