where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
