it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
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