Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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