forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
