i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
