You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
