Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
