Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
