My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
