everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
