Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
