Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
