tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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