i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
