I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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