You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
is it fun? or sober?
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