Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
