her vagine was all disorganized.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
