I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
