Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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