Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
