I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
