With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I believe in your delicious
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