Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
