just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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