I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
