also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
