grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Two words: nipple clamps
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