If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
