If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
even my farts smell like vagina
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
