He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
